Bright Week is coming to a close and this year it’s been one of minimal prayer unlike in previous years. Since the Hours are basically the short Paschal Hours I have sort of fallen off the Horologion and stuck to the Jesus Prayer. I have not really paid attention to who is on the calendar this week, as I’m not sure if it’s appropriate to commemorate any saints during the week long celebration of the Holy Resurrection. Maybe someone more knowledgeable than I can tell me whether in the East saints are commmorated during Bright Week. I’m kind of curious.
My interest in Islam is still high, but only on an intelectual level. My Christianity is too strong for me to repudiate Jesus as the Son of God;give up the Jesus Prayer and the Horologion; hide or destroy my icons and take up Islam. I remain an admirer of aspects of the Quran and even the character of Muhammad, but as a Christian I cannot and do not believe that he was a prophet. I believe he was sincere, but IF he spoke the unadulterated truth and Islam IS the final religion than us Christians must get rid of our icons, our prayers and venerable traditions and accept only a human Jesus bereft of the mystery of Chalcedon. I cannot do that. I don’t know if at my age and my deep level of commitment to Christ in the Eastern Tradition I could ever really walk away from my Faith.
One strange thing i thought of when wrestling with Islam is that I got a glimpse of what Jews must feel like when dealing with Christians throughout history, that is to say, I felt like Islam was trying to say that us Christians are liars with corrupted scriptures and erroneous beliefs that are only rectified in the light of the Quran. Jews must feel similar when Christians tell them God is Trinitarian, that Jesus was the Messiah and God, and that despite their thousands of years of Tradition and exegesis it’s all bogus and superseded in the light of Christ and the Church. If anything this gives me a different slant on things.
You know, this week I even almost went to Mass and Confession, but I’m not ready for it, I’m not ready to put myself back into intentional communion with the Papacy, the Vatican and the deformed externals of post conciliar Catholicism. Maybe some day, but not now, not yet.